I’ve been asked a lot (mostly by hearing) if I like having a cochlear implant or if regret having it.
I want to clearly state, the decision was my own to make. No pressure from family or friends to get it or not. I was 17, a bit naïve in my decision making but was mine to make. For the past week, I have no heard a sound since my batteries don’t work with the implant.
But it woke me up to reality a bit. I have been living with a family for the past few months and one of them posted an article on Facebook after arriving home the other night and jokingly said, “I’m still deaf.” Only a deaf person would understand my humor. Once you accept who you are, it’s something you’re used to, but he posted an article and hair cells being restored. Mine are completely gone, destroyed, as well as my cochlea. Is it impossible to have it restored? By supernatural healing by God, I believe it’s definitely possible. From a realistic and medical standpoint, pretty much impossible.
After that article posted, I questioned the possibility of actual healing, both the hair cells and cochlea. Then I question my decision to get the implant, what would it like without it? Would my hearing have become worse and I continued to use the hearing aid? Was it a waste to get it? I think not, it’s opened doors me than I ever anticipated, but also closed a lot of doors. The doors that did open, gave reality to what I would never witness if I didn’t have it.
I’ve learned to depend or not depend on it, I’ve learned my hearing loss defines me by others but in reality, does not define me if I see it that way. In reality, culture plays a major role in who we are. Would I have still discovered this later on or continued with the same thinking? I can’t say, but either way, I am who I was created to be, took a real hard look at my reality and it’s not all bad, in fact see a different world.
No regrets, and only seek the future for more doors to open AND close.